In God's Hands

Mr. Randy - I have learned that Mr. Randy was released from the hospital and doing well. His illness was due to Salmonella. Dad spoke briefly with him just a couple of days ago. He said that he still feels a bit weak, but is hoping to return to his regular work schedule next week.

Mr. Carl - Mr. Carl was released from the hospital. The days all run into one another making it very difficult for me to recall what day he returned home. It seems like we are approaching two weeks since his release. A few days prior to that release, his appetite began to improve. His strength and determination seemed to do so as well. He returned home with good color and an appetite that allowed him to eat all that was served upon his plate. He was even physically able to attend the wedding reception of a grandson who married on August 9^th. His attendance was longer than we expected and tiring for him, but we looked on in awe at the improvements he was sporting at that wedding. We visited with them yesterday. The feeling of being “full” is no longer present. He is able to eat well. In fact, Hilda was saying how he was back to his ways of eating that which might not be all too good for him; such as CAKE. She is very concerned about the diabetes which presented a challenging battle while in the hospital. Carl is up and about. Carl is looking good. Carl is continuing his battle with Myeloma - one that seems to be minute compared to that of the bacteria that took over his body and caused the lengthy hospital stay. What our eyes saw only a couple of weeks ago is gone and we are now calling him a Walking Miracle. During our visit yesterday, we talked about the seriousness of his condition when he first arrived at the hospital and during his ICU stay. He remembers very little of that time. He became teary eyed during this discussion. To realize that he “almost didn’t make it” brings us all to a very humble place.

Mom and Dad - They continue on the road to recovery from the fire. It is still a very emotional subject for all of us. Their temporary home is very near the one that burnt. When we go to visit, we pass right in front of the old. There are no words that can accurately describe that short span of time, looking on, remembering, hoping, praying about the days to come for them. Dad is back at work full force. Mom is out and about doing her daily chores with added cleaning of items pulled from the fire. Things are beginning to settle down. Plans for the future are beginning to take shape. God is taking care of all circumstances in ways that we would never have begun to imagine. From time to time, Mom phones with tears. Even though the blessings have flowed abundantly and that they are tremendously grateful for them, the fact remains that they have experienced a great loss - an experience very close to that of a loved one dying. The greatest difference in the two situations is that when a loved one dies, their personal belongings remain - each with a cherished memory. After a fire, many personal belongings are destroyed, never to be seen again. Others can be recovered, but they show and smell the evidence of being in the fire. The precious memories cannot burn. They cannot be taken from you. They remain a part of you forever, but so does the fire. As I compose this post and recall the many encouraging words given to me by friends and family, a song of long ago plays softly in my spirit……….

CHORUS:
I think I see gold
I think I see gold in the fire
Right there in the ashes
Is all you've desired
Oh, it's hard
As you press toward the goal
Don't give up
Don't give in
Don't stop now
I think I see gold

A few days ago, I received a call which made me stop to pray. Please join me in praying for Mr. Randy Broussard. Mr. Randy is the generous gentleman who offered his rental property to my parents to live in as long as they needed. I was told that Mr. Randy has a virus with severe headaches which require morphine for pain. I have not heard any news on his condition since. I pray that all is well for him by the time that you read this, but just in case, I ask that you pause for a moment to pray for him.

Here is an update of info and events of the recent days. Please be patient with the lack of correct order of events. I am composing this while running like a thirsty chicken amid my own house trying to catch up on tasks which need doing, but wanting to share info with all of you.  I can multitask!

Mom and Dad’s photos - On Saturday, Andy and Mike were rummaging through the rubble. Mike grabbed a couple of books. They were not books, but photo albums. They were located 6-12 inches from the hottest spot of the fire. Nearly all of them were saved! After the death of my mom’s mother, all of the belongings were shared amongst the children and grandchildren. One of the items most treasured by my mom was her baby picture. Months after bringing the items home, Mom began to search for that baby picture. She remembered tending to it, but could not find it in her home. She looked high and low for months. I mean that she REALLY looked all over the house. I had not heard of her speak of this for months. On Saturday morning, my thoughts were ON THAT PHOTOGRAPH. The feelings and the thoughts were so strong that I had to share them with Mom. “Mom,” I said, “I have a feeling that you will find your baby picture.” Sunday morning, she phoned me to say that it had been found in the albums discovered on Saturday evening. Dad’s heart was extremely heavy about the photos of his childhood that had not been found. He remembered storing them above the closet which was no longer a closet but now a pile of ashes. Burned, we figured. On that same Saturday evening, he found the yellow envelope which those pictures had been saved in. No burns. All fine. It had been at the bottom of a desk cabinet right near the hottest part of the fire.

Temporary address - The day of the fire ended with Mom and Dad sleeping at the home of her parents which now belongs to her sister. It was ready to go and a perfect place for them to seek shelter amid those who love and care for them. They were not sleeping. They were not settling. They were in the constant whirlwind of the “days after”. A generous neighbor called Dad to offer him a trailer that he normally rents. It was vacant. He offered them the use of this trailer as long as needed while rebuilding their lives. This trailer is located about one mile from the property my parents’ home is located. They could walk to their home if they so desired. On Saturday afternoon, their belongings were loaded and moved in. They slept in their temp. home that night. Mom phoned me early Sunday morning to say, “We slept soooo good!”

Sunday Mass - Scott is preparing for Confirmation. Dad is his sponsor. Scott attended a weekend retreat relating to this preparation. Mom and Dad planned to join us for the ending Mass of that retreat. When they arrived at the church, they both looked like a million bucks! And, as usual, Roland was way ahead of Judy who was slowly coming behind him. This is their normalcy, but poor Mom is aching and feeling the effects of the physical exertion of the past few days.

They are well - The emotions are like riding a roller coaster. Fine one minute. Crying at another. Laughing at another. Similar to the death of a loved one, many emotions are evident. Mom and Dad are strong. They are humbled by the generosity of those who have come to their aid.

Andy and I - It is incredibly difficult to see our parents go through this. I will be married for 24 years this August and Andy 15 (I think) years this September. There is a long time since we’ve called that place “home”, but it is where we grew up. I was six and Andy was three when Mom and Dad began to build their/our lives there.

Mike and Kay -Mike says it is VERY hard to see Mom and Dad walking this journey. He said that if he had the money, he’d build them a home so they would have no financial worry. Kay ran errands for Mom and Dad on Friday. She called me with a warm heart to share the generosity she had been given from others for my parents. Kay was a great help in getting Mom and Dad moved it. She and I worked together to place their belongings into the trailer. Mike shopped at the dollar store to pick up kitchen necessities. He did a great job at it, too. Almost like he was reading my mind, he returned with things that I had thought of but not mentioned.

Andy and I are both particular about CLEAN houses….not immaculate, but clean. We wanted Mom and Dad to have clean, so we got busy. Andy tackled the bathroom. The cleaners nearly tackled him. He had a protective mask on at one time and was asking if there was a fan nearby. I guarantee, there will be no germs in that bathroom for a long time to come. J

Their temporary home - A large mobile home surrounded by Crepe Myrtles in bloom, covered carport, wooden deck / porch, four bedrooms, two baths, all appliances, ready to move in. As we drove up to see it with the owners, PEACE surrounded me. Mom and Dad will be comfortable was the feeling I got - immediately. Mom told me yesterday, “I could just stay here, Cindy. It is so quiet, cool, and we can watch the horses and cows from the porch.”

Insurance Adjuster - His report will read - gas leak ignited by refrigerator motor. Lots of paperwork, but it appears that this part of the business is well on its way.

God’s Hand -

Mom had been having headaches; even went to the doctor about them. She mentioned waking and needing the bathroom, but said that she had a hard time “waking”. I wonder how long the leak was there but not noticeable.

She mentioned that she didn’t know WHY she even decided to go to Crowley the day of the fire. She was sooo sleepy. She probably should have stayed home….hmmm…I think not… I think that was God keeper her safe; though the drive to her home knowing it was on fire was not an easy one.

Lester noticed smoke as he passed in front of her house. He realized that something wasn’t right. He turned around to check it out. One of my parents’ vehicles were there. He thought she was in the house - until he reached her by cell phone. Praise God for cell phones! If he could not have reached her, he probably would have tried to enter and save her putting himself in danger.

She answered! It seems that every time we try to reach Mom by cell phone, she doesn’t answer. Instead, we hear her voice mail greeting saying, “uhh….I’m not available”. It was miraculous that she answered on that day.

Gas leak! Lester was right near the kitchen when he was the first to arrive. What if a large explosion had occurred. Thank you, God, for protecting him.

Rain. It was raining on the day of the fire. All the way over there, I prayed, “RAIN! RAIN! RAIN hard! Keep the flames down. Keep the contents from burning to ashes. The rain allowed the firemen to work non-stop; otherwise the heat would have been too exhausting.

Birthday gift. My birthday was one week - to the day (Wed.) - prior to the fire. Mom and Dad served us supper and gave me gifts. Mom had purchased two items made of wood. One, the cover for inserting photos (like a frame) was a box. The other was a letter holder/mail holder. Dad had purchased a card and inserted a generous amount of cash - to which I said was NOT necessary. He said he wanted me to buy something for ME. During one of Mom’s excursions in the aftermath, she found my bag of gifts. With all of the concern of Mike’s dad, I had forgotten the gift at their house. This was in my thoughts, but I never said a word. Mom exited the house with the bag, barely damaged. It was near the TV which had melted, but it was still together, a little damp, but salvageable. The look on her face as she brought it to me was priceless. This came immediately following her shouting match with a receptionist at a doctors office while trying to refill some of their medications. Thank you, God, for allowing me this blessing. I will try to focus on this thought instead of the looks on the faces of her and Dad as they drove up to see their home being burned and firemen all over the place.

The fire proof box. It really was fire proof. Mom had stored important paper items in it. She told the fireman where it was located. He carried it out. It showed little evidence of being in a fire.

The tea kettle…Arline, correct me if I am wrong here…….Arline told me a story about the home of Aunt Lucy burning when she was around 5 years old. Arline remembers being with their grandmother helping to clean up after that fire. Mom had a tea kettle that survived THAT fire. She told the fireman where it was. He carried it out to her. Blackened, but its contents were fine. The tea kettle now sets atop a computer center at the temporary home.

Until Sunday, I had not the courage to face the sights of inside my parents’ home. Yesterday morning, I woke with feeling a need to do just that. I cried as I shared this need with Mike. I really didn’t want to do that. Calmly, wisely, lovingly, he advised me to do as I was being prompted so that I could “close that door”. Late yesterday, I walked through. The entry was the most difficult. To see the ashes, the blackened walls, the personal items once treasured - melted, burned, gone - so many years of “building” gone in a few minutes - words cannot describe. The remainder of the walk through was done in amazement. Mike showed me where rosaries had once rested, where the photo albums were, and where Dad found his envelope of pictures. I looked in awe. Unbelievable was the destruction; unbelievable was the items untouched amid that destruction.

Warnings? Does God give us warnings? For some time, I had been concerned about Mike’s health. Almost a worry about it. I prayed. I just thought it was due to the loss of my grandparents, the surgeries of my dad, or simply a fear of losing him too. His dad fell sick. Since then, I have had an undeniable need to pray as I left my home. The need produced the kind of feelings that made be go back in and pray as I walked about while doing a double check for things left on, for things that needed to be unplugged, and to check the stove even though I had not yet cooked during that day. The home of my parents burned. I am humbled at the thought that God might prepare me with a warning of those things. I am feeling that I might not have been listening closely enough because although the illness and fire were correct, I missed the “who”. I really didn’t even think them to be warnings. I considered them to be unnecessary worry.

I may not understand His ways, but I certainly can recognize Him in those ways.

Carl - We visited with Mike’s parents at the hospital yesterday. They were more concerned about my parents than for themselves - sounds like them, huh? We talked a bit about the journey which my parents are on. We talked a lot about them as well. Carl is doing somewhat better with each visit, but his eating has not increased. He continues to take just a few bites and says that he feels full. I am concerned that he is reaching a point of danger. His body needs the nutrition, but it seems to be telling him “enough”. The doctors continue to remind him that his job is to eat and to walk. He does not show a desire to walk. His sugar levels are running quite high. His blood pressure is running a little lower than normal. He sleeps a lot.  Hilda is well. She is not sleeping as she would at home, but who would. She does not speak of a desire to leave and he does not seem too happy about that thought even when we mention it jokingly. Even if she left, she feel hurried to return out of her concern for him.

My Back - With the graces of God, I have been able to be in every place that he called me with little to no pains. Moving carefully and avoiding the movements which aggravate the symptoms, I have been able to keep on going. I have noticed how the shoes I wear make a huge difference. I have been wearing the shock absorbing tennis shoes through all of this. Today, it felt good to be home. I stayed in my bath robe for the day. Who wears tennis shoes with a bath robe? I don’t think I’ll choose this outfit for too many days in a row.

Blank Mind - My mind has gone blank. It has taken me nearly the entire day to compose this post. I’ll return when more comes to mind, or more blessings are poured out upon me and mine.

Our families could use all the prayer time that you can spare.

Mike’s dad remains in the hospital. More details will follow.

My own parents are facing one of life’s most challenging tragedies. On Wednesday afternoon, I received a call that there was a fire at their home. No one was home. No one was injured. Nearly all of their belongings are lost. What was pulled out is scorched, wet, and smells of smoke. At the ages of 62 and 67, my parents are having to start all over. The emotional storm of such a tragedy rages on. The shock is beginning to wear off and reality setting in. They have been given access to a family home that was not occupied - BUT there is NO PLACE like home and they have none at the moment. Please pray for them, and for those of us walking beside them during this difficult time.

I am not sure of the time which I will be permitted to do so, but I hope to keep family and friends up to date through this blog. So many of you have expressed your love and concern. I want you to be updated and know how they are, but there is simply no way that I can phone each of you during each day. I am rarely home, but if you have my cell phone number, you are welcomed to phone it - I have FREE UNLIMITED incoming calls. If I can, I will take your call, if not, please do not be offended by hearing the prompts of the voice mail service. When I hear your message, I will praise God for you, and I will do all that I can to return your call.

Mike’s Dad ….

I spoke to Hilda in the early morning hours on Thurs. She phoned me with concern for my parents even during her own time of difficulty - that’s my mother-in-law! God bless her in her own needs! She said that the IV would be removed and Carl would be encouraged to take in nutrients by mouth to build his physical strength up. A scope was done to see the cause of his feeling full after eating only a small amount of food. Ulcers were seen. Biopsies were taken. I have yet to hear results on that - not sure if they are even in. During the later evening hours on that same day, Mike spoke to his mother. She told him that Carl has fallen back into sleeping all of the time. His supper tray was still awaiting his attention, but even when she tried to wake him he did not stay awake long enough to eat.

I cannot begin to put into words the walk that I have had in the last two days. I cannot begin to put into words what it is like to watch my parents lose their home - 36 years of work, love, time, …the home that was my own from the age of 6 to the day I married….up in smoke.

To those of you who are close family and friends, I ask that you search through your photos. Most of Mom and Dad’s have been ruined. If you have any pictures that contain them, their children, their parents, their siblings….ANY photos that might begin to build new photo albums for them, please gather them, copy them, mail the copies to my home address, or email copies to me. There is no way that we can replace every one of those ruined, but can we try?

So many have asked “What can I do?” At this time, it is so overwhelming that we find ourselves struggling to think of that answer. They lost everything. They need everything. If the Lord places it upon your heart to be a helper in this time of need for my parents, contact me. We will work together in doing the Lord’s work to help them.

The Lord is GOOD. This I know. He is carrying us through. It is a difficult time. I look forward to the day that we can say “Look what the Lord has done through this!”

A great big hug and a great big thank you to all of you who have shared concern, love, gifts, time, talents, and given of yourselves to be of help to all of us. May the Lord bless you millions of times over for doing so.

And most importantly, as I began this post, please pray with us and for us.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Not because I have little to write about, but that I have been more inspired lately to read than to write. This morning, I feel as though my spirit has ADHD. The subject is one, but the thoughts are many. The thoughts come and go so quickly that I barely have the time to make mental note of them. My spirit zigzags from joyful to sad and from lifted to splattered. I feel as though I am on a roller coaster ride.

I’ve been reading. I read one blog that said we could be the only Bible that one would ever read. That one really stopped me in my tracks. Halted. Screeched. Black skid marks at my heels. WOW! I? ME? Little ole ME? Could I be the only Word that someone ever reads? Am I holding up to what God intended of me in this life? I have always been conscience of the fact that as a Christian, I must be Christ-like at all times. As I ponder this, I think that most of the time He would pat me on the back and say, “Job well done.” BUT, on others, I am sure that He finds Himself disappointed; I am sure that He wishes that I had not opened THAT chapter for all to read. What chapters are those? Which areas of my choices, life, words, should I improve. Well, I’ll claim the fifth and leave that between me and HIM. I’ll claim the fifth, but grip the Word and His counseling. I’ll ask His mercy and move onward. By the way, I have not committed any crime punishable by law.

I recently ran across a quote by Helen Keller. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” I cannot recall if this was in a post or simply something I ran across. Does it matter? It was though they were spoken directly by God to my soul. THAT is what matters.

Character? So, that Bible that I am, which may well be the only one that someone will ever read, in it I must be a character? Not like Daffy Duck, but like Christ! Yes, I must. Yes, WE must. If we have any knowledge of Christ, we must! Is my character Christ-like? Let me look into the mirror while I work, play, and communicate with others.

Mirror…What do I see? Do I see kind and gentle? Do I see love? Do I see the image of Christ covered with my own skin? Am I looking for the plank in my fellow Christian’s eyes, or do I see the one within my own eye? Do I point the finger at others to blame them when I can surely use some improvements of my own?

Sadness comes when I think of the many people who are suffering. Depression. Cancer. Heart disease….the list is endless. When I read of those, I pray with you even though there is no comment left. Even though I may never have had to deal with some of your issues, know that Christ has. He endured it all – just for you!

Death. Whoa! NOT an easy subject. I do not deal well with losing a loved one. Does anyone? I’ve lost three very close loved ones since 2005. Practice does not make perfect in this particular area for me. I lost one suddenly. The other two lingered; slowing breathing their last. They gripped life with all they had even after the Father began to call them home. One was not any easier than the other. Praise God it’s not strike three; you’re out when it comes to dealing with death.  I read a couple of blogs which speak of the author going through experiences similar to those which I have. I pray with you. I feel with you. I wish that I had some profound advice to share which would make your journey easier. I wish I could give you a time-line which would state when the pain heals. There is none. Years later, the memories are sometimes joyful and sometimes make me so lonesome that I pour out the tears. Grab hold to your faith. Do not lose your grip. God will carry you through. That is how I traveled my own journeys when I had a heart filled with grief.

Tears – a gift. Indeed! A gift from God which helps us heal, release, see clearly. Tears. Some people NEVER cry. Oh, how my heart aches for what they are missing out on. The loving arms of God coming to you, whisking you off of your feet and lifting you to places you’ve never dreamed of being - places which only HE can take you. Tears. Why do some avoid them? Mine come, sometimes without warning. Rarely can I hold them back even if I wanted to. If I am able to hold them, I am miserable until they fall. Tears. An important part of my faith walk.

Slow to anger. WHAT? Slow to anger? Is that something we are supposed to be? You’re kidding, right? Do you know my bloodline? Do you know the genetics that I must fight in order to comply with this command? Do you know that I am approaching a phase in life named menopause? Slow to anger. Hmmm…..work in progress for me.

Progress. YEP! I can claim progress. Our little family recently went through a first - a first which brought heartaches, tears, and anger. As I look back at my behavior and choices through that difficult time, I can see progress. I was slowER to anger. Tears fell.  Arms hugged.  Loving words were spoken.  Support was given.  Hearts grew closer.  Understanding was deeper.

Speaking. What do we speak? How do we speak? Of course, when one hears these words, they immediately think of one using their voice in communication. Voice? Is that the only means that we communicate? Not in today’s society of technology. Voice, voice mail, email, blogs, community forums, websites …….the list is endless. It is not the method we use to speak which is important, but the content of that communication which is. What are we saying?

Technology. Wow! Awesome! IS it? Can be! HOW do you we use it? If WE are the only Bible that some people might ever read, are we considering this when we blast cyberspace with the content of our cyber “pages”.

Bible. The one TRUE book. The Word. As a person is living their last moments on earth, they recall the Word. THAT is awesome. When I am in that phase of life, will I be able to say that. I pray so. It is my ONE concrete source of Truth. It is my ONE real resource for Answers.

If I have said what you’ve already said, then that means that the Holy Spirit, through you, inspired me to be a better person. For that, I give thanks to God for inspiring you and I thank you for allowing the Spirit to flow through you. You didn’t have to. You could have rejected it. You didn’t. You humbled yourself to be used as a vessel to bless others. May you be blessed in return.

If, by chance, the words that are shared here your eyes read for the first time, then I praise God for the spiritual ADHD that I have today.  I know there is a reason for it.

Dreams have always fascinated me. How complex is our mind that it can dream as we sleep. How complex is our mind that some dreams are remembered in great detail, some tucked away until an experience in our life un-tucks them, and yet others are tucked away so deeply that they are never remembered.

Mom and Dad visited with me on my patio yesterday. Dad looked tired. Dad also looked like he was deep in thought. With the storms that passed through yesterday morning, I knew that they were awake much earlier than their normal routine. He said that after the storms had settled he returned to bed for a short nap. When he did so, he dreamed of his deceased father. He said that in his dream, he could see him just as clear as if he were sitting with us. He was wearing his khaki clothes. They were together at the farm property. They were after a combine that Grandpa Gro had purchased. After determining that the combine had been a wise purchase, Grandpa Gro was off to get another leaving Dad in charge of the first.

Listening to Dad’s dream was mesmerizing. I wondered if he dreamed of him because he was aware of the anniversary of his death. Or was the dream a way of being reminded of the date. Maybe it was because Dad seemed to turn to his father for fatherly advice and maybe he would enjoying having that now. Maybe it was because he’s been spending time with a friend who is older than Dad and he wishes it were his Dad. Maybe it was because Mom has been going through old photos and some were of him. Maybe…Maybe….Maybe….the list could be endless.

Our conversation then turned to the dreams that I’ve had about my deceased grandparents. Mom shared dreams of her own deceased parents. Conversation switched to another topic, then another, and soon they were leaving.

Today, the story of Dad’s dream stayed on my mind. Along with those thoughts were thoughts of our Creator who created our amazing mind. How amazing HE is!

Psalm 148:5 “Let them praise the name of the Lord, For He commanded and they were created.”