My father in law was admitted into the hospital on Saturday, May 31 with mental confusion and physical weakness. A series of tests have been run. The results show that his body is producing too much calcium; cause unknown at this point. With each day that passes, our concern grows greater.
Please pray with me for him - and for all of us who love him dearly.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Not because I have little to write about, but that I have been more inspired lately to read than to write. This morning, I feel as though my spirit has ADHD. The subject is one, but the thoughts are many. The thoughts come and go so quickly that I barely have the time to make mental note of them. My spirit zigzags from joyful to sad and from lifted to splattered. I feel as though I am on a roller coaster ride.
I’ve been reading. I read one blog that said we could be the only Bible that one would ever read. That one really stopped me in my tracks. Halted. Screeched. Black skid marks at my heels. WOW! I? ME? Little ole ME? Could I be the only Word that someone ever reads? Am I holding up to what God intended of me in this life? I have always been conscience of the fact that as a Christian, I must be Christ-like at all times. As I ponder this, I think that most of the time He would pat me on the back and say, “Job well done.” BUT, on others, I am sure that He finds Himself disappointed; I am sure that He wishes that I had not opened THAT chapter for all to read. What chapters are those? Which areas of my choices, life, words, should I improve. Well, I’ll claim the fifth and leave that between me and HIM. I’ll claim the fifth, but grip the Word and His counseling. I’ll ask His mercy and move onward. By the way, I have not committed any crime punishable by law.
I recently ran across a quote by Helen Keller. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” I cannot recall if this was in a post or simply something I ran across. Does it matter? It was though they were spoken directly by God to my soul. THAT is what matters.
Character? So, that Bible that I am, which may well be the only one that someone will ever read, in it I must be a character? Not like Daffy Duck, but like Christ! Yes, I must. Yes, WE must. If we have any knowledge of Christ, we must! Is my character Christ-like? Let me look into the mirror while I work, play, and communicate with others.
Mirror…What do I see? Do I see kind and gentle? Do I see love? Do I see the image of Christ covered with my own skin? Am I looking for the plank in my fellow Christian’s eyes, or do I see the one within my own eye? Do I point the finger at others to blame them when I can surely use some improvements of my own?
Sadness comes when I think of the many people who are suffering. Depression. Cancer. Heart disease….the list is endless. When I read of those, I pray with you even though there is no comment left. Even though I may never have had to deal with some of your issues, know that Christ has. He endured it all – just for you!
Death. Whoa! NOT an easy subject. I do not deal well with losing a loved one. Does anyone? I’ve lost three very close loved ones since 2005. Practice does not make perfect in this particular area for me. I lost one suddenly. The other two lingered; slowing breathing their last. They gripped life with all they had even after the Father began to call them home. One was not any easier than the other. Praise God it’s not strike three; you’re out when it comes to dealing with death. I read a couple of blogs which speak of the author going through experiences similar to those which I have. I pray with you. I feel with you. I wish that I had some profound advice to share which would make your journey easier. I wish I could give you a time-line which would state when the pain heals. There is none. Years later, the memories are sometimes joyful and sometimes make me so lonesome that I pour out the tears. Grab hold to your faith. Do not lose your grip. God will carry you through. That is how I traveled my own journeys when I had a heart filled with grief.
Tears – a gift. Indeed! A gift from God which helps us heal, release, see clearly. Tears. Some people NEVER cry. Oh, how my heart aches for what they are missing out on. The loving arms of God coming to you, whisking you off of your feet and lifting you to places you’ve never dreamed of being - places which only HE can take you. Tears. Why do some avoid them? Mine come, sometimes without warning. Rarely can I hold them back even if I wanted to. If I am able to hold them, I am miserable until they fall. Tears. An important part of my faith walk.
Slow to anger. WHAT? Slow to anger? Is that something we are supposed to be? You’re kidding, right? Do you know my bloodline? Do you know the genetics that I must fight in order to comply with this command? Do you know that I am approaching a phase in life named menopause? Slow to anger. Hmmm…..work in progress for me.
Progress. YEP! I can claim progress. Our little family recently went through a first - a first which brought heartaches, tears, and anger. As I look back at my behavior and choices through that difficult time, I can see progress. I was slowER to anger. Tears fell. Arms hugged. Loving words were spoken. Support was given. Hearts grew closer. Understanding was deeper.
Speaking. What do we speak? How do we speak? Of course, when one hears these words, they immediately think of one using their voice in communication. Voice? Is that the only means that we communicate? Not in today’s society of technology. Voice, voice mail, email, blogs, community forums, websites …….the list is endless. It is not the method we use to speak which is important, but the content of that communication which is. What are we saying?
Technology. Wow! Awesome! IS it? Can be! HOW do you we use it? If WE are the only Bible that some people might ever read, are we considering this when we blast cyberspace with the content of our cyber “pages”.
Bible. The one TRUE book. The Word. As a person is living their last moments on earth, they recall the Word. THAT is awesome. When I am in that phase of life, will I be able to say that. I pray so. It is my ONE concrete source of Truth. It is my ONE real resource for Answers.
If I have said what you’ve already said, then that means that the Holy Spirit, through you, inspired me to be a better person. For that, I give thanks to God for inspiring you and I thank you for allowing the Spirit to flow through you. You didn’t have to. You could have rejected it. You didn’t. You humbled yourself to be used as a vessel to bless others. May you be blessed in return.
If, by chance, the words that are shared here your eyes read for the first time, then I praise God for the spiritual ADHD that I have today. I know there is a reason for it.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
Dreams have always fascinated me. How complex is our mind that it can dream as we sleep. How complex is our mind that some dreams are remembered in great detail, some tucked away until an experience in our life un-tucks them, and yet others are tucked away so deeply that they are never remembered.
Mom and Dad visited with me on my patio yesterday. Dad looked tired. Dad also looked like he was deep in thought. With the storms that passed through yesterday morning, I knew that they were awake much earlier than their normal routine. He said that after the storms had settled he returned to bed for a short nap. When he did so, he dreamed of his deceased father. He said that in his dream, he could see him just as clear as if he were sitting with us. He was wearing his khaki clothes. They were together at the farm property. They were after a combine that Grandpa Gro had purchased. After determining that the combine had been a wise purchase, Grandpa Gro was off to get another leaving Dad in charge of the first.
Listening to Dad’s dream was mesmerizing. I wondered if he dreamed of him because he was aware of the anniversary of his death. Or was the dream a way of being reminded of the date. Maybe it was because Dad seemed to turn to his father for fatherly advice and maybe he would enjoying having that now. Maybe it was because he’s been spending time with a friend who is older than Dad and he wishes it were his Dad. Maybe it was because Mom has been going through old photos and some were of him. Maybe…Maybe….Maybe….the list could be endless.
Our conversation then turned to the dreams that I’ve had about my deceased grandparents. Mom shared dreams of her own deceased parents. Conversation switched to another topic, then another, and soon they were leaving.
Today, the story of Dad’s dream stayed on my mind. Along with those thoughts were thoughts of our Creator who created our amazing mind. How amazing HE is!
Psalm 148:5 “Let them praise the name of the Lord, For He commanded and they were created.”
This morning, along with our alarm clock, the storms woke us. Thunder in the distance. Lightning flashes. Mike hurried to get out the door in hopes of not having to drive his entire way to work in the stormy weather. Around 5am, our phone rang. This never happens. Makes your hair stand up. It was Mom. Yes, you read that correctly. Mom was awake at 5am. The weather woke them, too. She was concerned because of the tornado warnings that were issued for our area. We called each other back and forth as the weather was passing through to make sure that all was well. Mike was blessed with getting on the road just in time. He was able to drive most of his way before the storms hit. All eyes and ears were on the tv - listening and watching carefully. Take cover orders were given. WHAT?!?!??! Take cover?!??!?!?? This must be serious. Mike called, cell to cell, to tell me that he arrived safely at work. I was sharing with him what the weather man was reporting at that time. I heard the house phone ring. I thought it was my parents calling in. I continued to speak to Mike. Scott answered the ringing phone, looked at me with the strangest of looks and said, "Mom, you are NOT talking to Daddy!" He hands me the phone to hear Mike's voice on the other end. I'm not sure for how long, but I was sharing the weather report with my cell phone - no one on the other end - and I never noticed. Mike said that he heard a few beeps and then the call was disconnected. I never heard anything but the weather man and the house phone ring. Stranger that that was the fact that I was the only one who thought that to be funny.
As the weather started to calm, Mom phoned again. She stated that she had been up since 4:15-ish. Welcome to my world! I wake at 4:30am every day. It was somewhere near 7am and she was already tired.....ummm....yeah, I know THAT feels.
At about that same time, my mother-in-law phoned in to check on us. She had been up early too. The big difference between her, Mom, and myself was the fact that she has already begun to cook a meatloaf. Because of a mid morning doctor appointment, she wanted her lunch prepared before they left. She called again to let me know that she was on the road and heading to the appointment. A short while after that, she phoned again to say that the mid-morning appt. was ACTUALLY at 1pm. I'll bet the air in that vehicle is as thick as muck. I asked if my father-in-law had misunderstood the time of his appointment. She simply answered, "I don't know!" I can't help but laugh. The two of them are just too funny! I told her NOT to choke him. I told her that I did NOT want to visit her in prison. At least I made her laugh.
Storms in the air. Storms in the truck. Stormy everywhere.
The weather storms passed us by without any damages. Our neighbors in the city to the northeast were not so lucky. I pray that their power is restored quickly. I pray that the damage to buildings does not damage their spirits. I pray that the damaged doctor's offices will not cause havoc for patients and office workers. May the pieces be put back together with God's Divine help.
I created a new category. I named it How's the Back? When they first appeared, I placed my physical symptoms in God's hands. He has helped me tremendously. Over the past couple of months, my experiences and the information that I learned seems to get sloshed around in my head. I often wish that I had a special place in my memory where I could record important things and they would just stay put. No such luck. A nurse practitioner once told me that our memory can be compared to that of a computer's memory. We can only hold so much, then the new has to be saved over the old. Sometimes the old is gone forever. It seems that as I get older, the memory bank shrinks in size. With that in mind, I will be using my blog to store information relating to the challenges with my back and how God helps me through them. While I work on organizing the information, the settings will not permit those posts to show up as "new" ones. When you reach my blog, you will have to click on the category to read those specific posts. After all, much of what I am writing, at this time, is rather old news. Once all is done and I reach a point of posting current information, I may change the settings. To reach the new category, look to the right of this text, you will see a link to it. Within that category, you will see posts of specific topics.
Prayers are powerful. The more the better. If you're reading this, I invite you to join me in praying that I can continue to find comfort in God's Hands and that I can listen when the Holy Spirit directs me in wisdom - in ALL areas of my life.
Sunday, Mother’s Day, our Pastor gave a lovely homily dedicated to mothers. It was touching to hear of him speak of me, of my mom, of all mothers in such a holy way. As he spoke, my thoughts hopped, skipped, and jumped amid the challenges that I face with my own child, those that my mother and mother-in-law faced, and those which my grandmothers faced. I glanced over to my own teenage son - seated upon the altar – a faithful altar server – so grown – young man – where has time gone? My heart grew. The lump in my throat grew, too. Mother is such an important role. Have I done as God wanted me to? With these thoughts, I became lost in memories. It lasted only a few moments. What happened next melted my heart, and the lump in my throat, into flowing tears. The words that caught my attention were, “Lovely lady dressed in blue.” Most Catholics would immediately think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, when hearing these, but not I. My thoughts were on my Grandma Foreman….lovely lady dressed in blue. She liked wearing the color blue. As long as I can remember, she drove a blue car. I wonder when she came to like blue so much. Was it because her own mother died when she was such very young child? Was it because she leaned on Jesus’ mother in prayer during the challenges in her own life? Did she look to Mary as an example of how a mother should be? Was it simply that she liked the color? The tears flowed. No tissue. I made an attempt to gently channel them to the side of my face. They flowed more. I wondered if they made a puddle upon my shoulder for all to see. It matters not. When the tears ceased, I thanked God for blessing us with a Pastor who always seems to speak to my soul. I only heard the first few lines of the poem that he read, so I promised myself to search for it. This morning I did just that.
Lovely Lady dressed in blue ----
Teach me how to pray!
God was just your little boy,
Tell me what to say!
Did you lift Him up, sometimes,
Gently on your knee?
Did you sing to Him the way
Mother does to me?
Did you hold His hand at night?
Did you ever try
Telling stories of the world?
O! And did He cry?
Do you really think He cares
If I tell Him things-
Little things that happen? And
Do the Angels' wings
Make a noise? And can He hear
Me if I speak low?
Does He understand me now?
Tell me ---- for you know?
Lovely Lady dressed in blue ----
Teach me how to pray!
God was just your little boy,
And you know the way.
Mary Dixon Thayer
Grandma Foreman, our family's lovely lady dressed in blue, I hope that Jesus is enjoying your stories as much as we did!
For the past couple of months, my mom has been saying, "Some good crabs!" That repeated comment helped me to know exactly what Mom would appreciate for Mother's Day. Mom was very excited when I told her my plans. The restaurant was found. The small trip was planned for Saturday evening.
It was I who was the more surprised, though. To sit and watch her enjoy those crabs was a delight. There was no elegance in the restaurant we chose - good thing! First we order drinks. Next, we order our meals. Then comes the appetizers. Three of us had seafood gumbo. I had salad. One of us had no appetizer. With this day being the day before Mother's Day, the place was full, filled with sounds of joy and children, and the wait was a little long. We waited patiently.
The waitress approached our table to say that the crabs would be ready before the other foods ordered and she wanted to know if it would be alright if she brought those out first. Well, of course!
Here come the crabs! Mike ordered some and of course Mom did. I could not eat them, though I did taste, do to a recent, mild allergic reaction to shrimp. Dad, Scott, and myself chose to eat other choices - which could never compare to the taste of those crabs. They were just yummy.
No one had to ask Mom if she was enjoying her order. It was quite evident. She tackled those critters with aggressive delight. The shells were scattering everywhere. I sat directly across the table from her. I had shells landing in my lap. She had shells in her hair. Lord knows where the poor waitress found bits of crab shells as she cleared our table. As Mom finished her last crab, she said, "OH, Cindy, that was very good!" The family at the table near us looked our way with a sweet, understanding smile.
Mike enjoyed his crabs, too. At one time, he said that his fingers were too big and he could not work as quickly as he'd like to eat them.
As we were leaving the restaurant, Dad seemed a bit uncomfortable with the fact that Mike and I grabbed the tab for the entire meal. That was my intention - as a gift to Mom. When he mentioned the "bill", I said to him, "Dad, it was well worth every penny to see Mom and Mike enjoy those crabs."
The gift that I gave to Mom turned out to be a real treat for me as well - to watch her enjoy hers.
For some reason, I cannot view her posts. I continue to get an error message. Is anyone else experiencing the same?
This happened once before. It was after the recent upgrading took place. After a while, I was once again able to read her posts.
I have seen and read posts of other bloggers with the same template. I have not run across any other blog that gives the same error message. I wonder what the issue is.
If anyone has any helpful hints on what might be causing me to get this message, please share them with me in a comment.
Missing Carolyn's writings.......
No, never mind. I don't want to know the whole story. I saw a couple of blogs that caught my attention - can't remember why - but as I read them, it seemed that something was not right. I thought, perhaps the ones referenced have been deleted. The whole thing just blew right over my head. Maybe that was the Lord's Will, His plan, .......for my benefit????
One of the Scriptures that stick the heaviest upon my heart is the one that says we should not argue over the Word. (my words; no quotes) I am not sure if that is what is going on, but I certainly feel the tention. I am annoyed with the tension. Is there reason for the messages to continue back and forth? Who will be the wiser?
This brings to mind an experience in my family past. One that perhaps God would like for me to share, now, because as I was typing the memory POUNDED my thoughts:
My son was attending a private school; same private school of which I was employed. A new teacher was hired for the grade which my child was attending. I saw many signs which raised red flags, but thought that it was simply a mother's worry about her little one. Within the first few months of school, that thought was thrown out the window and a whole new ball game had started. Details are not necessary, but I can tell you that this time in our lives - as parents - was the MOST challenging. I was having to trust my principal to do what was best for all, but all the while working across the hall and watching things happen that I knew to be wrong. I made my concerns known to my principal - and my Boss; through prayer. In the end, I removed my child and he attended another school for the remainder of the year. As I said, the MOST challenging time for us.
What is my point? I could have shouted from the rooftops, to the newspapers, and to the local news channels what was taking place. I trusted in God instead. I prayed. He had placed that principal in charge of the school - NOT me. I trusted that He was in control through her. When God calls upon a person to "be in charge", it is not our place to question the decisions of that person. After all, when God CALLS a person to utilize their talents, he has ALREADY equipped them. In the end, that teacher was fired. The principal and I continued working together - with respect for one another. Sometimes we agreed with one another 100%. Sometimes not. And sometimes, we just kept quiet.
I could state my opinions on what the 'fussers' should do next, but I wonder if that would be sounding judgemental. With that thought, I will simply close by saying that although I know not the root of the fussing (and do not want to know), I will pray that the they are filled with peace, understanding, and the wisdom needed to put it to rest and move forward with an increased amount of love and respect for Christ, His power, His wisdom, and His grace.
"There are diversities of gifts...." I Corinthians 12:4
In the late afternoon hours, yesterday, I sat for a moment to read a couple of my favorite blogs here on Christian Blog Sites. When my reading time was up and I had to move on to prepare supper, a song entered my thoughts. I remembered a song with the words, "the Spirit is a movin', all over, all over this land...." I smiled and thought, "The Spirit is a Bloggin".
I cannot read all of the blogs or all of the posts within this site, but there are a few of you whom I try to get a peak at each day. Carolyn with "Blessings", flutterby with "The Shadow of Your Wings", and Deacon Farley with "A The Baptist Deacon" have captured my interest and it is you that I am thinking of as I write this post. The Spirit is moving through your blog messages. The Spirit is moving in ways that have blessed me and I wanted to shout out a big THANK YOU for allowing yourselves to be His vessels.
One never knows where Jesus will touch them, bless them, and give them a gentle nudge in the right direction. This site and these bloggers have done just that for me and I pray that each of you are blessed for it!
The Spirit is a bloggin - all over, all over, this land......................
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